AVDA's Committed Men program aims to redefine masculinity, reduce violence

One out of three women has been a victim of physical or sexual violence. But what if we could prevent domestic abuse before it happens?

That's the goal of AVDA's (Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse) prevention team. Specifically, its "Committed Men" program, which specifically works with young men and boys to prevent intimate partner violence. The goal is to create the social change necessary to reduce dating and domestic violence in the future.

AVDA's men and boys’ prevention program goes into schools, churches, athletic clubs and community centers to mentor young boys, teaching them the difference between healthy and hurtful masculinity. The program challenges their beliefs and attitudes and expands the definition of what it means be a man.

“So, if a young man says I’ve learned that because I’m a boy I have to be tough, I have to be strong, I have to take control, we talk about how that looks like in a relationship,” explains Markos Fleury. “Is that going to be healthy for the other person? If you’re constantly taking control, taking charge over somebody else. And kind of giving them the alternative choices of recognizing you can be a strong person without imposing your strength on other people.”

See also: Domestic abuse survivor on a mission after being shot by husband

Markos Fleury and Rashard Perry are violence prevention educators. They say mentoring boys month after month, year after year, eventually leads to a cultural shift- that violence isn't cool.

“The trickle effect, which is what we teach the students, they will be able to teach their peers pertaining to relationships,” says Perry.

Caption: That's the goal of AVDA's (Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse) prevention team. Specifically, its "Committed Men" program, which specifically works with young men and boys to prevent intimate partner violence. The goal is to create the social change necessary to reduce dating and domestic violence in the future. (WPEC)

Jesse Terasme and Thompson Auguste are graduates of the program. They admit, that when they first started at age 14, they witnessed behavior among family and friends that the program was telling them wasn't healthy.

“Of course, I’m challenging it for a little bit but then as the years progress, I started to warm up to it a lot more, and then started to realize as you mature, they’re actually right,” explains Terasme.

“Change starts in the mirror. And then we influence each other and the community and it gets bigger. So, planting the seeds in us, we can go out and plant the seeds in younger men, kids. And teach them the right thing,” says Auguste.

The *right * thing, not how movies, music and social media tell them men should behave.

“We’re looking for young men to develop has whole human beings and not limit themselves to what some of those narrow definitions are, because those are the things that lead to those negative behaviors and outcomes,” explains AVDA’s Prevention Manager Matt Tyler.

These men admit, that there's always pushback when you're trying to create change, but it’s happening. They're seeing a cultural and social shift happening, one boy and man at a time.

CBS12 News is partnering with AVDA for it's annual “Purple Pajama Party” fundraiser.

You can donate here: https://www.avdaonline.org/purple-pajama-party-2024

Find more ways to stay up to date with your latest local news. Sign up for our newsletter to get the day's top headlines delivered right to your inbox. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for the biggest stories and can't miss video.